The grass is always greener

26 Aug

Right now, I am “livin’ the dream.” I just graduated college with an actual, usable degree and teacher license. Instead of using this actual, usable degree, I am traveling around the country (actually, the freaking world) playing with a band that is getting a decent amount of buzz. We are on tour on and off (more on, than off) for the rest of the year, with no end in sight. Yes, it is fun. Yes, it is crazy. But it is also tiring. Tiring in a way that I have never experienced. Staying out all night, every night. Driving all day, every day. And repeating this daily routine for a month or even longer. All of my friends are off getting promotions, going to medical school, or nesting in their new grown-up apartments, while I am just getting drunk and playing violin. Okay, it sounds awesome when I type it out like that, but I can’t help but feel like I am on permanent playtime (and I don’t mean that in a good way). I keep telling myself that this is what I want to be doing, but it is hard to remember that fact, when I am nearly broke from not being able to work a steady, normal job. I can’t help but be jealous of my friends that sleep in their own bed every night and eat regular food.

Speaking of these friends, its not like I actually have time to see them anymore. As a single gal, my friendships are very important to me, and I have been neglecting them. These friends of mine keep telling me how cool it is that I am out being a rock star, when really I am craving a life more like theirs. Immediately after graduating college, I moved back in with my parents and started touring with the band. There was no time for me to settle anywhere or make a life that is my own.

That said, I cannot wait to get back out on the road. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

-lil momma


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